1st Mushroom Trip Documented and Elaborated Upon

Sep 14, 2007

I actually went ahead and ate the shrooms and I’d like to try and describe the experience for the sake of remembering this special occasion in the future.
Its a very psychological confrontation I think, between the Ego and the ID and if they are in conflict your experience will be affected negatively. For a person like myself, comfortable with his own personal identity, this is nothing short of experiencing nirvana. I’m not going to declare it the best experience of my life, because the experience seems more of a wind-down, a fantasy, recreation, unreal maybe, or surreal at least. It was difficult to stop smiling and laughing because for about 4/5 hours I felt the joy of thought.

It’s like when your dreaming and when you’ve crossed over into REM sleep, during the night you have several simultaneous dreams and in the morning you can remember one of them if you’re lucky… this experience is like having thoughts simultaneously overlapping themselves in the same manner and experiencing, them, remembering them, reflecting on them, at the same time. Everything felt great and I was just sitting in my computer chair listening to Bach.  It was a non-stop progression of one feeling of Eureka to the next moments later. Every thought would explode with wonder and I was in a constant state of being flabbergasted in amazement at how much I was thinking and how easy it was… like all psychological walls that normally constrict thoughts were gone… and you can infinitely contemplate the meaning and the impact of single notions, single words, single thoughts or something as broad as you can think of.

The intellectual experience is definitely enough motivation for me at least, but the physical experience was also a really great side bonus. About an hour in I decided I needed to take a shower because I was having an allergic reaction (not surprisingly because I’m allergic to everything) and I was sweating a lot and my bronchial tubes were constricting and producing a lot of phlegm which I was trying to cough up, it was easy to do but I was afraid that my body was so numb that I wouldn’t be able to sense the phlegm build up and thought about possibly drowning because of it. I knew a steamy shower would clear me up. So I got into the shower and it was really bizarre. The semi-clear shower doors had hard water stains on them dried to look like water droplets. Combined with the large dimpled surface of the doors, and the water splashing off of me and onto the door created a very curious wall flowing or “melting” affect. None of this was scary because I was expecting it to happen at some point, so I was following the wall down kneeling slowly as it melted in front of me laughing as quietly as I could because I was actually seeing it and it looked completely real.   My own home was suddenly an amusement park.  Everything I looked at, the mundane household items, we’re new and exciting.  The water on my skin and the sound of a shower were also amazing.  I got out of the shower to dry off and looked at myself in the mirror. It’s very easy to focus on very small portions of your face to just examine yourself. I was expecting my face to look weird like some kinda devil or horse or something but it didn’t morph or anything, just me. 

When I got back into my room I could see the refresh rate on my computer screen, the letters were hard to focus on and moving a little. The sides of the screen were jagged.  If you’ve ever seen a very low refresh rate on a screen you’ll know what I mean… but I could see it without anything being wrong with the screen.   It resembled a less intense version of a scrambled channel on cable television, the HBO specials that are wavy and blurry until you buy them.

I could also make out distinctly the path my vision traveled as it went to the screen, passing through my glasses, through the computer screen, and onto the actual surface of the screen. All of the weird video’s and weird images people told me would look even more weird weren’t.  None of that affected me at all, none of it bothered me, but I generally expect other people to be full of shit, so perhaps my bias pushed me into a state where I wasn’t prepared to allow those things affect me. I was completely alright and satisfied sitting there listening to music and thinking. Bach is amazing. I had the lights off in my room and the glow from the computer screen was casting a very soft blue onto the whole room. I was leaning back in my chair with my hands above my head orchestrating Bach and doing a kind of puppet show of the music for myself. My hands were dark black with that blue tint lining from the computer screen. A lot of your experience will be based on your atmosphere, and I believe a soft blue is very soothing, and the glare cast on my white walls created a very gentle ambiance.

The album I was listening to for most of the night was “Bach and the Sea” which was very soothing. I tried to switch from that to Nine Inch Nails at one point, but found it to be too abrasive.   Music will affect your mood immensely, so I had to turn that off pretty quickly.  Your mood can swing in any direction seemingly instantly and you will have little control over it. Towards the end I finished off with “The Baroque Tribute to Tool” which I also recommend for a smooth ride.

The feeling of weightlessness was reoccurring, numbness came and went, hyper sensitivity did as well. When people tell you they can “feel” the music, I understand what that means now, and it’s very hard to explain.  Imagine every crashendo and decrashendo effecting your overall emotional state instantaneously based on the music and you will at least understand abstractly how it works.

Thinking inherently crazy thoughts is also very pleasureful, when something incoherent makes complete and total sense it gives you a good sense of humility, because after all we are just human beings.  Some of the crazy shit I thought up that night follows, and I quote:

“When you take a drink, you’re making out with yourself.” Referencing my reflection in the tea that I was sipping.  The point at which your reflection touches yourself in the water is where you’re drinking, the mouth.
“I just itched the toe with itself.” Because referring to my toe in the third person was really funny.
“about to happen like my limbs feel limp but just not limp enough” No reason thats funny, but it was at the time.. kind of a tongue twister.
“It might not be at all like that then” same reason for being funny.  “like that then”
“Helium: you don’t have to pay attention to it for it to rise” I developed a respect for helium, even though I had none.   For some reason I was thinking about how attention whores should adopt helium as a role model.
“The sight of this SITE makes we sweat slimy smiles” because I was sweating and I thought the sight of a web site might be causing it.
“this is what eastern religions are BASED on its so fucking obvious they’re just ashamed to show it because the christians will make fun of them”  If you every get a chance to study any eastern religions, specifically Buddhism and Hinduism, you will see a lot of connections to this type of experience, where as Christians are more ascetic.
“My friends are SO left wing, they fly in perfect circles” Kinda obvious why thats funny to picture.   Literally having wings, and having nothing to do with one of your wings while completely preferring the other… and if you’ve ever seen a seed fall from a Maple tree that is where I pulled the inspiration for this statement.

Most of the night I wasn’t that coherent, but I managed to put some sentences together here and there. It is very difficult to be coherent during and around the peak. I freaked my dog out talking to her.

Other good shit I did was flexing.  Flexing your muscles feels really good, and I became a lot more limber. Also feeling things is as great as people make it out to be, not because of any particular fabric but because of ones ability to focus on it.

/rant off.

~ by spaghettim0nst3r on April 11, 2008.